Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Fear, Nerves, and Heading to Site

It's finally August 25, and today's the day.  Today is the day that I'm going to move to my site and begin my two year term as a volunteer in Bocas del Toro, Panama.  I'm anxious, excited, nervous, scared, and incredibly happy all at the same time.  

But what about the whole fear thing?  Since I began the process of becoming a volunteer nearly 16 months ago, this is the first time I've felt that emotion.  In fact, when I first arrived in Panama my biggest fear was not having enough work to do...

I don't know what flipped the switch, but on the scale of indifferent to terrified, I'm getting closer and closer to the latter.  There's a sudden feeling of being overwhelmed by all of the challenges- trivial and large- that I'm getting ready to face.  While I know that these feelings are normal and that every volunteer deals with them, it's still hard. 

Like I explained to someone the other day, it's like finding yourself completely exhausted and sore at the beginning of a marathon workout.  You know you're going to push through and be very glad you did, but all of the sudden it just hits you how much it's going to hurt.  

I appreciate your thoughts and prayers throughout the next two years (and especially the next two months) and look forward to sharing all of the fun, exciting, and sweet moments that are pulling me through the rough spots.  

And now (literally, right now) to Bocas!  

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